FAQ: How Do I Get One of Those Super Cute Emmy Plushies?

Emmy plushies are extremely limited and highly coveted. At this time, they are not available for general distribution, purchase, or adoption. The only guaranteed path is booking a demo as a brand-new prospect. For everyone else… well… things get a little weird. 🐘

How to Get an Emmy Plushie (The Officially Unofficial Ways)

(Warning: All of these are intentionally ridiculous. Except when they’re not.)

• Book a demo as a new prospect.
  The only reliable, repeatable method. Demos = plushies.

• Recruit another MSP to book a demo and sign up.
  Do that, and we may send you a plushie out of sheer gratitude and capitalism.

• Impress Dean.
  If you create something on social media so delightful, unhinged, or Emmy-themed that Dean’s eyebrows lift in visible admiration… you may earn a plushie. Tag @empath and #Emmy

• Perform an unnecessary physical feat.
  Think “American Gladiators, early 90s.” If it makes Dean say “What the hell was that?”, you might get a plushie. I want video proof. 

• Sing one of the Empath songs.
  Film yourself performing a passionate rendition of any Empath track. Commit. Belt. Channel your inner pop star. Plushie may follow.

• Attempt bribery.
  Does bribery work? We cannot legally answer that. But also… maybe. 🤔

Important Notes

• Plushies cannot currently be purchased.

• Plushies cannot be summoned, crafted, replicated, 3D-printed, or obtained via dark ritual.

• Plushies are distributed at Empath’s discretion and chaos level.